


old white sheets

by extremelyquestionable (TechnicalTragedy)



Series: house and home unhaunted [1]
Category: The Derp Crew (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Car Accidents, Ghosts, M/M, RoyalChaos, ZeRoyalChaos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 19:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2703749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnicalTragedy/pseuds/extremelyquestionable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>they pool around my feet, and though i’m exposed and raw, i am unseen. (this is not a happy story)</p>
            </blockquote>





	old white sheets

I met Anthony in the third grade, and even back then he was a lot bigger than me. He told me that his friend had said that I was talking bad about him. I hadn’t been, but this big, scary kid made me nervous, so I just stared at him and didn’t say anything. He punched me in the face and I cried, so the teacher gave him a detention and I got a broken nose, plus the apology the teacher forced him to spit out. Anthony hated me from that point on, and I think we might’ve been okay if he hadn’t been made to apologize to me, but since he was, we weren’t.

Anthony bullied me all through elementary school, up until the day we graduated high school. I don’t know what it was, but I could never seem to hold any of it against him. He was popular, friendly to everyone except for me, always had a smile on his face. He was tall and strong and handsome and had a perpetual string of girlfriends that only lasted a few weeks. Anthony was everything I wanted to be, but somewhere along the line wanting to be him turned into wanting him.

Over the course of those years spent getting shoved into walls, made fun of, having my books spilled across the floor, being pranked, and sometimes even getting punched or kicked, I began to firmly hate myself. I started doubting everyone, including myself and my closest friends, and I felt like I deserved the pain Anthony brought me. Now that I’ve had a few years to think about it, though, I know I didn’t deserve any of it. I would like to reiterate, however, that I don’t hold anything Anthony did against him. Years have passed, and he’s still plagued by guilt over what he did to me. He doesn’t know I forgave him long ago.

Anthony and I discovered we were going to the same college after we graduated high school, since we got stuck as roommates in a tiny dorm. We got over our differences pretty quickly once we discovered how much we had in common. I found that I actually liked hanging out with him a lot of the time, but he did occasionally get into a mood. He was always very mean when in a mood. I never minded.

I spend a lot of time around Anthony nowadays, more time than I ever thought I would. It’s not so bad, though, since it gives me ample opportunity to check up on my old friends, since he managed to reconcile with them a few years back. We all became friends after graduation, in fact. Good friends that played tons of video games together and just had a great time. That friendship ended a while ago, though.

One day Anthony dragged me to a party. I don’t drink much, so I made myself the designated driver. As we were driving home after the party, Anthony, who was completely plastered, started distracting me as I was driving. We were hit by a semi truck, and were both hospitalized. Anthony nearly died.

I was angry afterwards. Angry at Anthony, angry at myself, angry at the world, and the other driver who was fine, but filled with regret. It took a while, but eventually I wasn’t angry anymore. Anthony is still drowning in guilt over it, but he hasn’t touched alcohol since. If one good thing came out of that whole mess, it was Anthony’s refusal to drink any more liquor.

Sometimes he’ll sit on my bed and look right at me, but it’s like he’s looking through me. “Steven?” he’ll ask quietly, and I’ll set a hand on his shoulder. Most of the time, when he gets like that, he just starts crying. He’ll apologize again and again, and no matter how many times I tell him it’s okay, he never listens. He’s been crying a lot in recent years. Sometimes it’ll be in the middle of a call with our friends. He has to swallow a lump in his throat any time he sees my face. He can hardly look at Toyota Corollas without feeling sick to his stomach. Ever since the wreck, though, Anthony doesn’t even know I’m still around.

It hurts him to be reminded of me. I’m thinking it’s time I move on, or else he’ll never be able to.


End file.
